Gay butt fingering

Then take a shower and wash your butt with soap and warm water. Lube!

Zane says “there’s no such thing as too much lube” because your anus doesn’t lubricate itself.

During foreplay, go slow. Evan Goldstein, a renowned bottoming expert, says pain can be caused by the muscle or skin of the area being too tight.

And it doesn’t have to be.

Depending on your partner’s size, you will probably need some preparation. "For other people," he says, "it’s a neural or mental connection that plays a part in pain when bottoming". If this happens, you need to stop, take your time and try again,” says Howley.

“When the dick is inserted it’s best to contract your anal passage or push outwards – don’t clench.

“I don’t know if it’s become a mental association, but when I douche it’s like my body knows what’s coming next,” he says.

“Also, I like my hole to get a lot of attention, including rimming.

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What to do if it hurts
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Pain can sometimes happen. But there's definitely a need for trust and communication.

The toy you use will depend on how experienced you are and what your body is used to. Wait a few minutes and then try again with these extra steps.

If the pain doesn’t go away after your partner pulls out, then stop what you’re doing. BUT nearly 60% of you said you were too embarrassed to ask for it.

These can contribute to anal pain. If you’d like, you can then progress from fingers to toys. When it comes to gay and bi men, a lot of people seem kind of obsessed with working out who’s a top/giver and who’s a bottom/receiver, but in reality many MSM (men who have sex with men) do both and some do neither.

"Go for a walk, grab a cup of coffee and have a conversation with each other in like a non-sexual environment or in a non-intimidating environment."

It normalises conversations about sex, in a less vulnerable setting.

If you start slowly, breathe and focus on relaxing your muscles down there, it should gradually feel better.

In general, bottoming can be a confusing sensation for your body. But if you're not keen on doing anal, or eating someone out - using a finger can be a great way to ease into it.

"The taboo of having something penetrate you in your anus is quite psychologically stimulating and psychologically pleasurable as well."

Let's not forget the main star of the show: the prostate

For guys or people with prostates, using a finger for ass play can apparently lead to a whole body orgasm - because of the way you're stimulating the prostate.

Lubing up in advance can make bottoming easier because you’re already prepared. Sex toys and loads of lube are very much your friends here – but don’t rush it.

“There’s no need to take an entire dildo to begin with,” advises Zachary Zane, a queer sex columnist and sex expert for Promescent.

The media, porn, and other queer people might make you think you have to pick one.