Bad mormon heather gay

However, these qualities often clashed with the prescribed role of a Mormon woman, whose primary focus was expected to be on homemaking, motherhood, and supporting her husband's endeavors.

Ambition sidelined. Marriage, while fulfilling the societal and religious expectation, required the author to suppress her own professional aspirations.

I don’t really get it. Remember, Mormons are Christians folks and lots of youngsters are starting to wear the cross to remind them of it.

Bad Mormon is about a 2 star read. Because I am a fencer, never all in, never all out. The belief that adherence to gospel principles would guarantee a successful marriage proved untrue, leading to a crisis of faith and a questioning of the doctrines and promises she had built her life upon.

Seeking support, finding judgment. Sharing her struggles with family and church leaders often resulted in responses that prioritized maintaining the appearance of faith and marriage over her personal well-being.

Yeah, the temple is definitely off limits Heather. How was I going to do this?

I don’t relate to much of Heather’s upper crust and sometimes bizarre existence other than all the usual Mormon everyday experiences and Heather’s personal realizations about some of her misgivings about her faith but I did love that bit when she wrote she was glad to make friends with people who do not have an agenda.

Somehow, many Mormons have no idea how to treat people who don’t do as they do. For most of her adulthood, Gay writes, she didn't question her faith, but after her decades-long marriage ended in divorce, she felt isolated from her community and realized how Mormonism encouraged its followers to "suffer silently." When Gay was asked to join the Real Housewives franchise, though, it was a "rebirth": "For the first time in my life, someone wanted me for all that I brought to the table." By the show's second season, Gay had left the church and formed bonds with new friends and supporters.

That Mormon fear/guilt just reared its head.

I am with Gordon B. Hinkley on this one who did, yes, tell Rusty to check himself back in 1990.

I had a whole other paragraph here but it got too personal so I will just end with; I truly respect other’s beliefs and decisions, am happy for other people’s happiness and the importance of their faith to them but the LDS church (and other organized religions) is not for everyone.

I mean look at me, I am saying “Mormon.” Oops and btw, this is literally one of the most ridiculous changes the church has ever made. Experiences like being locked outside her backyard gate after venturing into forbidden territory reinforced the idea that staying within prescribed limits was for her safety and well-being, a metaphor for the perceived dangers outside the church.

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His youngest wife was Helen Mar Kimball. Divorce as a Catalyst for Questioning Faith and Identity

Billy was divorcing me. But when I actually had to live this way, the reality of being just a helpmeet was much different in practice than it was in theory.

The ultimate goal. For Mormon women, marriage, particularly temple marriage, is presented as the primary goal and the path to eternal salvation and happiness.

Even more thrilling and terrifying is the capacity to do it well.

A new identity. Serving a mission required shedding one's former identity and fully embracing the role of a missionary, adhering to strict rules and a demanding schedule. Run, and don’t look back.

A new perspective. The advice from her Relief Society counselor to "Run" marked a turning point, offering the first validation that leaving a difficult situation was an acceptable option, even within the context of faith.

Nothing of consequence.

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Now, no reason to read on unless you are interested in my unique perspective about Heather Gay, the LDS Church in relation to this memoir and living on the edge for most of my life. You don’t leave the church because you want a glass of wine, you leave because of pesky little shelf breakers such as Joseph sending Apostle Orson Hyde on a mission abroad, and while he was gone secretly marrying his wife, Marinda Hyde.

Either is this book.